Good and Evil: An Unbalanced Scale
So, anyway, me and Dr. Friend were having our sit-down when, of course, he asks the obligatory, "How are you feeling today?" Every time I think in my head, "Well, shitty, obviously, or I wouldn't be here." So, instead, I say, "What, truly, is the point of being good? Honestly, what is the point? So many people commit both minor and colossal acts of evil and recieve little to no retribution for it. Why the struggle to deny our natural human predisposition to 'get ours', as it were? What is the incentive to continue to be 'good' when those efforts carry little reward?"
So Dr. Friend said, "Well, most people find that being 'good' is it's own reward. I would also go so far as that most of those people who do 'bad' things suffer from the consequences of their action internally because they know that have behaved poorly." "But," I counter, "what about those who do not care that their actions harm others? People who do bad things and have no regard for others. For example, I know that I have had a few, sorry to say, complete fuckheads come into my life and do terrible things to me, both mentally and physically, with seemingly no remorse whatsoever. It frustrates and angers me that these people can come along, cause massive upheaval in my life, then skip along, la dee da, without a passing thought." Dr. Friend responds, "A few of the people you have described to me are mentally disturbed and those individuals are in suffering from their disease."
Fuck. How do these sociopaths find me? Am I listed in the Yellow Pages under 'Sociopathic Doormats, Women'? Goddamnit! Fucking SBC...
Feelings: Messy Emotions or Worst Song Ever Written?
Of course, Dr. Friend has to ask me about my feelings. "How does this make you feel?" he asks, pen in hand. "Um," I stare at my favorite object to stare at in the cozy office. Mmm. Table leg. "I dunno, annoyed, angry, I guess." It confounds me that the only emotion that I can find is 'anger'. Freaking annoying. It's the only thing preventing me from becoming a true Vulcan... "You should write a letter to the people you're angry at," he suggests. And mail it to them in a box covered in poison oak, wired to a bomb, dusted in anthrax, painted with lead, stuffed with asbestos, tied with barbed-wire, soaked in ricin and dripping with madcow infected blood?! You're incredible! I could kiss you! "You wouldn't mail it, of course," he followed up. "How would you start off the letter, say to maybe ***** or *****?" "Die in a fire," I spit out, without really thinking. "Good! That's good," he commended. Yes...them dying in a fire is good. "You should write down what you would like to say to them, to get those feelings that are still bothering you out," suggest Dr. Friend.
The next posts you see will be my Anger Letters, as directed by Dr. Friend. Oh, sure, they'll be public posts. Could these people read them? Of course. Will they? Unlikely. I feel better posting these publicly rather than privately. I feel like these letters are a shout from me to the world. Though my actions may say otherwise, I'm pretty damn upset! I'm always so 'agreeable' and it's a trait that I rather dislike. So here's to disagreeable!